In our desi culture, there is a weird confusion about approaching a woman. Firstly, it is an unsaid rule that a guy must make the first move. Secondly, the guy is absolutely clueless on how to do it. So some really “smart” boys, let’s call them Sheedas, resort to trying everything under the sun with every other girl they come across, just to figure out what works. If you are a Pakistani girl, you must know what it is like to have your inbox filled with messages by absolutely random males.
Let us introduce you to the different kinds of amazing Sheedas you are likely to encounter in your inbox.
The one with a zaroori baat
This Sheeda tries to get your attention by making it sound really important. They are going to message you with such urgency in your tone that for a second, you will be very tempted to reply just to ask what is it that they want to say? No really, I think I am going to try and find out what this “zaroori baat” is anyway?
The Musalman one
This one wants to get your attention but he also wants to make sure that pleases God while doing so. He will initiate the message by sending blessings upon you and will inquire about your well being with such familiarity that you will find yourself thinking hard if you know them from somewhere?
The helpful one
The totally random Sheeda that will spam your inbox with sending your very random videos, trying to help you out. These videos can be anything, from recipes to 5-minute-DIYs. Smart move I must say. I learnt how to make kickass Manchurian but you’re still not getting a reply, sorry.
This one will try to impress you with their intelligence. They will send you a deep quote or a meaningful extract to stir up some emotion in you. A lil creepy, I must say
The one full of compliments
This Sheeda tries to woo you by unlimited compliments. Somebody told them that the way to a woman’s heart is by making her feel beautiful and they took this advice way too seriously. The only problem is when they compliment your eyes and you are wearing sunglasses in your profile picture. Seriously?
This sheeda gives you a major sad lover boy feel. He is sad and heartbroken at your disinterest and will try to guilt trip you into replying.
It is amusing to see how all these Sheedas try to strike up a conversation using their “smooth” moves. We wonder what exactly is the success rate of any of these moves! This post was intended to be light-hearted and humorous but guys, continuing to message someone to the point where they feel violated and uncomfortable is harassment okay? Careful Sheeday or you might get in trouble.