Things you must never say to a new mom

Becoming a mother is an exhilarating experience. Especially for the first time. It is not just a child that is born but also a mother. She is exhausted and emotional and so overwhelmed. But having a baby in Pakistan is a different experience altogether. The entire khandaan is thrilled and is going to surround the mom and the new baby and bombard her with unnecessary advice and comments. If you are visiting someone that has just had a baby, here is what NOT to say!

1. Moti ho gayi ho!

She just made another human being and that is beautiful. Of course she knows she has gained weight. She has a mirror at home. There is absolutely no need to remind her of these. Give her the time and space her body needs to recover and she will be back in shape when she feels like she can.

2. Normal hua?

Everyone’s favorite question. Firstly, it’s not your business how someone had their baby. Secondly, there is no such thing as a normal delivery. It’s either a natural vaginal delivery or a Cesarean surgery.

3. Boht pyara hai, bilkul tum pe nahi gaya!

Just don’t. Please.

4. Iska sar gol karo

Uff desis and their obsessions with shaping the heads of a baby. So God makes an entire baby with a complete body but leaves it to you to shape the head? Leave the baby alone and let his body develop naturally.

5. Isko feeder de dou/Isko feeder na dou

A mother’s journey to feeding her child is solely her decision. If she’s trying to breastfeed or not, don’t give her unsolicited advice on whether she should offer the baby a bottle or not.

6. Abhi toh shuruat hay!

Seriously? You see her exhausted and tired and you have absolutely nothing comforting to say. Instead you decide to scare her that it is only going to get worse.

7. Haw, kesi maa hou?

Don’t ever shame a mom for her choices. We repeat, DO NOT ever shame a mom!


Just to remind you, it is a woman you are speaking to and not a vending machine. She just had a baby so how about you let her deal with the one she has in her lap.

Be kind people, that’s all it takes to be supportive of new moms!


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